Saturday, Oct. 17, 2009

I am a New York girl...

its the pigeons...sometimes they are alwyas there. they always count on me to thow food. i bring the food and feed the pigeons at the library. yes, there are signs posted not to feed the pigeons, but when i do, ya know for the only time in the week i feel wanted and surrounded by sound, feathers and all little beady eyes on me...I smile so much. I wish someone could photo me with them. its a sight.I cant explain too much how i feel when i am in Ny. its like a light inside my system that passion of existence like i have been to most of ny before, comfortable, the smells of exhaust, sound of subways, rats as big as puppys, and always a way back to where or nowhere. i have been in the lowest of all places and no one has bothered me. Depressed, crying outside , alone, no one bothered me. Was God watching over? sometimes i feel so alone ...and then i go to Ny. I am fine. its like a fix, like caffine in my bloodstreem, feeling the energy of the subway under my feet, imagination rising up off the track with the speed, then comming to a fast stop, squeel of brakes, crowded wondering if it stops can i breath with no lights, heart racing, people calm, selling candy, reading newpaper, talking, laughing, sleeping, alone i stand, riding the subways one after the other to anyplace and comming back the same way . Just ride all for $2.25.Loneliness is a silent death...